Having lupus can be one heck of a struggle to begin with, add children and it may feel like your mind is going to melt. Whether you are changing diapers or the hustle and bustle of after school activities.
It can be tough trying to take care of your self and your little ones. Here are some tips to help with parents who suffer from lupus.
Tips For Parenting With Lupus
►You need to learn to take care of yourself. Never feel bad for having to take care of yourself. Some parents will feel guilty about having to take care of themselves, like they are taking away from their children in some form or fashion.
It’s not selfish to take care of yourself, after all what good are you to your children if you are in the hospital? If you wear yourself too thin you will end up with a lupus flare and a hospital stay.
►Make Some new family traditions. If you have lupus you might not be able to do all the things you used to do with your family.Create new traditions with things you can do and connect with your kids.
Make the new traditions low stress, so you can do them even when you don’t feel great. Like for example a game night, this is a great activity to connect with your family.
►Express how you feel to your loved ones. Let your family know how you are feeling, having lupus your mood can change day to day. It was really helpful to your family that they know how you feel. Try using a number system like the one at the hospital. If you have lupus i’m sure you have seen the sign. It starts at 1 with a happy face and slowly turns into a frown with a 10. Here is an example:
Think about putting a white board or something in a common place in your home. Maybe a whiteboard with magnets that you can put on your refrigerator, so your family always knows how you are feeling.
► Stop Feeling Guilty! Many lupus parents feel like they should be doing more. That if they did more that they would be a better parent. They blame themselves for how they are feeling. Feeling like this won’t help your situation so just push these feelings out of your mind.
►You can say no. There are many times when you just feel to sick to do anything. It is okay to say no even if your family might be angry. If you explain to your family how you are feeling even teens can be understanding.
►Don’t put to much on your kids. If you have lupus you will most likely will need help around the house. Just don’t over do it, you don’t want your kids growing up feeling like a parent themselves. If you are able to hire a nanny or house cleaner you should do so.
►Make sure you have a strong relationship. If you are co raising children with a spouse, you will need a solid foundation in your relationship. Lupus will cause strain on your partner. You shouldn’t let your relationship fall apart so much that you are the patient and they are the caretaker.
There are other ways that you can contribute to your relationship, even if it is just asking about your spouses day and how they are feeling. Just do small things to help out your partner.
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